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2005 |
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I used so much energy writing that last sequence, and driving a taxi cab next day, I fed the dogs at 4:30 Tuesday afternoon, fell asleep twenty-four hours, with one pit stop, no dreams at all, and drove a cab again, all day, yesterday. Well, last night's a whole other story. Sleepy, though clear-minded and awake, I had a (Vision) The crystal clear, though quite green water, flows rapidly from a sluice on the left into a chamber on the right, with the appearance of a swift river rapid, from a bear's-eye point of view. (Fin) Lying in bed, I knew this sudden vision had totally obliterated something else, and felt it important, for personal reasons, to remember exactly what I had been looking at, in my mind, just before. Then I saw it. Maybe two or three minutes earlier I had been having a (Vivid Impression) of myself hanging out in an underground fort, back behind the apartment at 1003 Country Club Road, in North Carolina, smelling the dank earth, totally consumed by my happiness. Down inside the fort I had candles, and the year must have been around 1952. (Fin) Now these two inner experiences, the vivid impression, totally obliterated by a vision, were aspects of my mind I've seen before. Strangely enough, the visions have been going on, maybe ten years, and I've written many of them down in notebooks, and at LetsCallThis.com, and redhurts.com, though ... to have a particular vision totally obliterate a vivid impression, or experiential memory, was a new one, and I was really glad I could recollect myself, because ever since I've crossed back through my childhood amnesia wall, and been able to take myself back to the plains of Colorado, at will, I've felt I've been in contact with an extremely well-grounded shadow essence inside myself, and from this scrappy, literally down-to-earth character, sometimes been able to glimpse that identical aspect inside other people – It literally looks like a person's shadow, because it has a dark, though certainly not evil, aspect – more like a secretly hurt child. However, what happened last night became even stranger, because both the vivid impression, with me being all shadowy and happy and simple, and the obliterating vision of the smooth green rapids, were overcome by something actually alive and moving from a point at the center of my chest. It was as if I was witnessing the first stirrings of a chicken being born, inside myself, and not ... scary ... at ... all. |
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