2010

pst

sat
jan
23

This DVD, Griechische Feigen / The Fruit Is Ripe - (Uncut - Import) (1976), starring Betty Vergés, is a perfect expression of my current condition. In it, a young German girl (Patricia) goes around mostly topless, often naked, learning about people, then falling in love with a guy who pretty much understands her.

When Michael Gibbons was my roommates, back in Cambridge, in 1973, he had a girlfriend, Ellen, who walked into the living room where I was sprawled out upside-down on a sofa, and stood above me a moment, wearing nothing at all underneath her short shift. Remembering her and a few other girls from that decade, and lying upside-down on my bed this morning, carelessly drooling on my black pillowcase, I had a quick (Vision) I see a ruby, the tiniest ruby you can imagine, its soft nexus of redness reaching out from my genitals and wrapping its neurons around my hips, down into my left leg and right leg. (Fin)

The only difference between then and now is, back in the 'seventies, I never had visions in the daytime ... and thought the dreams I had at night were nothing.

pm
2:33

Night Before Last: (Dream) The sailboat with my friend at the mainsail takes off! I'm dragging along using my body as a rudder, steering along a line of spectator craft on the right, and away! I can't believe how fast we're planing! Oh, my God! We're actually in the air, flying our sailboat like an airplane! The moment I realize this, we start sinking, using the mainsail as a parachute, landing perfectly safely on the rippling surface of Lake Sebago. (Fin)

(Dream) I've been sitting up in my stepfather's side of the bed, talking to him. We've been carrying on our conversation well over an hour, and realize it's late, I'd better go. My stepfather says, "Fine! I really like the sound of your voice," while I go to the closet to find loose change in the pockets of my jacket to transfer to my trousers. Mom's watching. The truck I'm driving is headed for the old Bay Bridge on-ramp, and I have to go around a few cars to reach a brand new on-ramp. My God! It's perfectly level. This'll be a cinch. Edging my nose out beyond the tunnel wall, I see just enough traffic to start up when it's safe. Cars keep changing lanes to assist me, though I'm not sure which ones to trust. Finally one crazy driver slows all the traffic enough so I can ease out into my wide right turn. When I get to the doctor's hillside home, I have to turn my SUV around, and am really lucky I backed into an empty garage, giving me a tree-hollow feeling of good fortune I never knew I had. Damn! I was lucky, because if the garage hadn't been there, I would have been backing into the side of a stucco house. I can't find his place, and bump into my dentist. "Where's the doctor live?" I ask, and discover it's on the next street up. I look at my watch and realize I'm already seventeen minutes late. He'll probably have left without me. Now I'm twenty-four minutes late. (Fin)

3:04

Two Nights Ago: (Dream) Pulling back into the taxi line, I'm behind a whole string of cabs that weren't there before. It doesn't matter all that much. The line moves. It simply doesn't matter. The girl's big breasts seem to be concealing something, I think it's the way she feels. The breasts make her real feelings hard to see. I land the breasts in a parking place, then go back for the feelings. (Fin)

3:11