2010

pdt

wed
jul
28

Your whole life changes when you start looking around for Ford Mustangs. No longer are you stuck in traffic, no longer do you have problems or woes ... Where are those damn cars? You'd think everyone would have one. I finally found one parked a block from where I live. A shiny black one. When I walked back, after parking my car, I tried to peek in the window to look at the instrument cluster. I couldn't, it was so well hooded by the dashboard, so damn mysterious! Better than a nude actress! Better than a diamond!

I'm not saying I want one. I just like looking for them.

(Dream) This is Boston, I'm in the suburbs, along a street with stone wall fences down by the street, under tall canopied trees. The Pakistani family that's hailed my taxicab is having a hurried conference. The woman turns and tells me they're looking for the Pakistani restaurant they've been to before and asked me if I know. I tell her I'm pretty much clueless in this town. They have another hurried conference, then direct me to take them across the far field, to the other side of the field here in Colorado. They all pile into the cab and the proprietor of the restaurant lets us pour into one of the banquet rooms in his Roadside Restaurant up in Marin. It's an extended family of about twenty Pakistanis, all conferring with one another. I'm simply standing at one end, waiting. (Fin)

pm
4:07

July 18th (Dream) I'm counting a bunch of bills, putting the currency in order, a few fifties among them. The guy comes down for rent and I hand him what's necessary, then ask if he'll cover my bill at Apple. I have another envelope for that. He takes it, then returns it for some reason. I'm in my back yard in St. Louis and just around a corner one of the Pakistani landlord's kids is playing inside one of our rooms, that's filled with books and antiques. I go around the corner, glance in, and see he's doing quite all right. The landlord and his brother are out in the back, close to the neighbor's horses, the landlord sitting on a lawn chair. I join him and see he's everyone's grandfather, not the landlord after all. One of his kids comes along to join us as we sit on our chairs sipping martinis. It's dusk. (Fin)

"// // ..// ./. ./.// ./.. ///./ //. ..// ./ Out of the way, gentlemen! // .. .// /// ... .//. //. .// ./. //. ./ //.. ," a whisper voice says as I'm waking up. I sense my belly and see all negativity has finally been brought to light, and the neurological connections funning through the flat of my belly all belong to me ... belong to my life, and the women I see during the daytime, the women who are beginning to give me beautiful views down their blouses. Everything but the nipples!

"// .. .///. .///. ..//. //..// /.. //. /. I'll be with you the rest of your life, /.. //. /.. //./ .// ..// .// ./. //.. //. /," a whisper voice answers as I wake up a little more.

I see what looks like a cherry sunrise as something lines up behind my mind. It's a whole other mind behind me. The redness in the sun is what used to be the redness of a bloodbath ... something that used to scare me. Now I see it's simply a red glow, that's getting hotter.

4:28

July 16th (Dream) I'm making my final run to the garage in my own car, rather than a taxicab, and swerve to the right across four lanes of traffic to find out about a Black guy who's trying to flag me. He comes up to the window of my car and says he wants to go to Jules Street. I have no idea where that is, and tell him to hold on while I look into it. At the same time another Black guy comes up to join him. A tow truck comes up and I get out to talk to the tow truck driver who's inquiring into the engine trouble I had leaving the garage. He seems to think it's pretty important for me to get taken care of right away, without taking any more passengers. I take a look at the hood of my car, my dark blue BMW that I never wash, with white bird droppings fading into the shiny finish. I think things over and get back into my car where the two Black guys have settled into the back seat. "Look," I tell them, "My garage mechanic tells me I've got to take this car into the garage right away. I can't take you." (Fin)

4:32

July 14th (Dream) Chris Daniels is with me on the precarious ledge, to which I'm hanging onto for dear life. If I stand up, I can see the precipice, the fall as far as I can see. He hops up and simply skitters to the other side, and in a moment, suddenly, losing all fear and rising from all fours, I follow. (Fin)

4:35

July 10th (Dream) Gina and I are in a tiny hillside town overlooking the Mediterranean, and I go off on a path that gets me totally lost. When I come up from the tunnel, I find myself in someone's mansion, and have to ask directions to get back down onto the cobblestone way where I last saw Gina. When I get there, the two of us keep exploring, and at one point I turn around and see her gazing off into the distance mouthing the words, "I love you!" It's a little bewildering, because she's not actually looking at me, and then finally realize love is a disease anyway, much like the march of pimples that erupt along a blood vein going up the shoulder. We meet up with a friend of mine, and I'm so happy to have friends who all like each other. (Fin)

4:37

July 9th (Dream) I have to leave Gina with some friends of hers while I go get our car. When I get up into the garage, I discover the damn car's been towed! Well, I immediately go back and get my taxicab and tell Gina I'm going to take care of everything. I park my taxi where my car had been and go in search of who might've towed it, and when I get back, discover my taxicab on the back of a tow truck, just making it around the corner at the bottom of the garage ramp! I race after the truck and climb straight up the front of it, right onto the windshield, smack in the tow truck driver's face! He's calling my bluff, uh-oh! We're heading straight for a wall behind me! Well, I don't really care, because what I see he's really interested in is not spilling the cup of Starbucks coffee he's balancing in one hand. When he sees me seeing this, he stops. (Fin)

(Dream) The little mice are growing. They're growing too much! One of them is covered with lice or something, and wanders off to a far wall in the room. I've got to catch it and kill it or get it into a box or something. It traces its way along the wall, and I finally lure it back onto the cushion in the center of the room by leaving a little food there. Then ever so slowly ... I grab it by the nape of the neck! ... Leaving the other mice alone for now. As I pick it up to dispose of it, I discover three cigarette butts embedded in the folds in the back of its neck. Someone's been ahead of me, torturing the thing! Very, very carefully, I lift it over the cardboard trash box where I'm going to deposit it, and making sure none of its paws can catch the edge of the box, drop it in! Then as quick as lightning, cover the whole box with a slab of concrete! (Fin)

4:38

July 4th (Dream) David Daniels' people have learned to fly! During the meeting I watch Patti flying up and back across the room, simply using jets in the back of her neck! I sense one of the jets in the back of my neck and wonder if I can get enough energy back there to do it, too. (Fin)

(Dream) Noriko grabs my taxicab and wants me to take her across town, to the hill on the south side of Boston where she lives. It's a long ride, and along the way she tells me I'll have to wait for her there, then bring her back, maybe. Some people are after her. Halfway there I notice a black limo ahead of us filled with Black people and ask her if those are the people. She ducks down so as not to be seen and I pass them. When we get to the address up on top of the hill, she has me wait while she disappears into a building, and I go for a walk, leaving the taxicab there. There are thugs roaming around on both sides of the street, as if this is Philadelphia or something. What a joke! Some hoodlum corners me and tries shoving me around a little. I let him, then take him up into a nearby building where I know Noriko is close by. There she is! I stop to talk to her about whether she's going to pay me anytime soon, while simultaneously, a detective grabs hold of the hoodlum who was with me and walks him to the back of the room for interrogation. Meanwhile, Noriko tells me she has just a little pocket change to pay the fare, which is all right with me. I know she'll make it up in other ways later, and take it from her. I go outside and the hoodlum's got his henchmen with him this time. Big deal. He shoves me up against a building front, trying to act tough pressing his crotch up against me. "Look," I tell him, "I know you're not gay, so you don't have to play out any scenes in front of me!" He pulls back a little to mull what I said over, and when he gazes down at his feet, I shoot a bolt of energy up the right side of my spine directly into his torso. I do it twice. A third time. He doesn't know what happened, and sort of wanders off with his gang. (Fin)

4:40

June 26th (Dream) It's not hard to realize, if you remove half the sidewalk squares, all you have to do is double the length of the remaining ones to fill the same area. I walk along, deleting one square, doubling the length of the next, watching how its stars expand to fill the space, almost unnoticeably different than before, though with half the squares. I get down to the square where Whitney's standing and realize I'm in a clay parking lot near dusk. There's a road, or highway, up on the ledge behind me. Cars going by. I hadn't realized just how close it was. (Fin)

Mathematics is fun, I realize, waking up, noticing how the remnants of the dream have a tendency to make my mind spin a little. I stop the spin, hold it still, ... realize.

4:43

June 25th (Dream) The woman and I are skating using just our feet. The slope's fun, like a ski slope. We're moving furniture. I get ahead of her and begin unloading some canisters of silver, mixing the knives, forks and spoons into one pile. Marlyn arrives and wants to know why I mixed her silver with mine. Who knows? I reach into one canister and discover the gold nugget, with traces of quartz, which I sent to my mother when she was alive. Marlyn wants to see it, and I grip it tightly so she can't wrest it from my fingers. She can look all right, and I'm not letting go of it! (Fin)

"///. ..// /.. ././ /.// /... ///. ././ .//. /. // You ring all my bells! // .. ././/. .// /../ //./ //.. //./ //. .//. //. /," a whisper voice says.

4:47