My Wife's Over-the-edge
From On Her Trip to Iran
"You can do anything you want," I told her before she left, helping her pack her most tantalizing nightgown and transparent underwear, knowing she would be uninhibitedly meeting my best Iranian friend on the other side of the planet. "Well, I just want to be alone with him, and to go slow, so I can test my thoughts about going further," she told me, with a quick kiss. "Have you ever told him you love him?" I asked, watching her dress borderline demurely for connecting flights from San Francisco to Tehran. "No," she whispered honestly, having done everything else to adhere to our conspiratorial carnal covin, tying her long blonde hair into a casual braid, "I haven't." "Well, when he's hie against you, then inside you, when you're both making love in the capital of Gilan, I want you to tell him you love him." She gave me a quick look signaling a new level of understanding, making my own cock suddenly jerk and leap alive inside my trousers, knowing she had some further secret! She gave my now-straining bulge a long look, then gazed up into my eyes. "You want me to tell him .. I love him?" she repeated hesitantly, taking my hand as I helped carry her light suitcase as far as airport security, noticing for the first time she was wearing her favorite long-holiday sandals ... "All right," she said of a sudden, "I will," bending over to give me a long look around to the top of her tunic, showing me the way she'd lean forward and let it gape whenever she'd bring on my friends and certain other guys to her complete bralessness, then giving me, her husband, a mere glimpse of "Catch & Release," ("Now I'm practicing being faithful to him!" she whispered, arching her back to casually fix her long blonde hair ("He asked me to!") to judge my reaction before "unconsciously" bending over to fix her sandals directly across from the airport security line, giving me (and Virgin America!) one last full measure of appreciation,) making my straining cock even harder, if that could be possible, ("Was it bigger than this?") to her furtive spinning around with sly apprehension to see how far we might take our newfound international relations, ("Yes, it was bigger than this.") being otherwise dressed appropriately, I could see, in soft black leather, and tugging her skirt up slightly, reminding me how nevertheless she'd easily flirted from furtive shoving matches to fierce double-entendres, going so far as to explicitly suggest on one of our outings she might be "up for grabs" with my best friend from Dartmouth, and with my approval, even danced close with him as the two whispered, getting extremely physical, and when he openly kissed her up on tiptoes, wrapping her bare arms around both his shoulders and shyly kissing him back when the three of us met again at a college reunion, becoming less & less tentative even to ultimately leaving a pair of damp black underpants in my hand "With long, slow love!" she'd said, turning back to take his arm, her face now bathed inside my black mind, whence upon such background a sudden flash of sunshine, "I do!" Then I see she'd accidentally forgotten her cell phone!
One day a rashtee invite his tehrani friend to his house in rasht for dinner, after dinner it is late and Rashtee guy ask his friend to stay over. He says, you and I sleep here and the wife will go upstairs. Rashtee guy wakes up in the middle of the night and see the tehrani guy is not there and you can here his wife is laughing upstairs, He goes upstairs and see, the tehrani guy and his wife in bed laughing and having fun. he says in anger, tof be goor pedar pedar sooxtat beyad, inja' cee ka'r mikoni. Tehrani guy says, nothing I just rolled off the bed, rashtee guy says, pedar sag, if you roll off, you will fall down not up to the second floor. rashtee guy says, I know, that's why me and your wife are laughing.
A Rashti walks up to another rashti and one of the asks "So, How is everything?" The friend replies, I heard Iran is great." "How come the other friend replied?" "Well, first you get of the plane and they come after you, then they treat you to a great meal, finally you get to sleep with someone and they offer you money for it." The friend being very enthusiastic about the issue asks" really? Have you been there lately?" No the other replied, but my wife has?"
ONCE A TEHRANI GOES TO A CAFE IN RASHT TO START A FIGHT.HE TAKES HIS KNIFE OUT TO SCARE THEM ,BUT NONE OF THEM MOVE AN INCH.WHILE THE TEHRANI IS WONDERING WHY THAY AREN'T SCARED OF HIM ONE OF THE RASHTIES SHOUTS:NAFASKESH .SUDDENLY ALL THE PEOPLE START RUNNING AWAY ."HOW DID YOU DO THAT " ASKS THE TEHRANI .THE RASHTI SAYS "I TOLD THEM THAT I'M HERE THAT MEANS MY WIFE IS ALONE".
one day a rashti was on the roof of a building 20 floors high. as he was walking on the roof someone yells "Mammad zane bachad mourdan" (his wife and children died) he realizing there is no reason to live anymore jumps from the roof. As he reachs floor 15 he realizes he doesnt have children. Then as he reachs floor 7 he realizes he doesnt have a wife. Then as he reachs floor 3 he realizes he is not even mammad.
A Rashti goes to Japan to work and get some extra cash. After a year, he sent an envelope full of cash and a letter to his mom. He wrote in the letter, "Dear mom, please use this money to buy a nice house for me in Rasht, and find a nice rashti wife for me, and name my first son Behzad until I come back!
Rashti says to the afterlife you believe in you ? She says a hundred percent, I father's death two years later born
One day a Rashdi man and his wife are on a nude beach. They are just sitting there when all of the sudden a bee flies up in the Rashdi's wife COS (vagina ). Her husband quickly scoops her up, tosses her in the car, and heads for the hospital. There was a turkish doctor in hospital which calmly tells the couple "My Anbor (prongs) are not long enough, I can not reach the bee, but I have a better idea." "Why don't you put some honey on the end of you're dick, and when he lands on it, pull out and we'll kill him." The Rashty guy agrees, so they proceed to another room. As they begin to try, the husband is so nervous that he can't get it up. The Rashty couple yells for the turk doctor to come in. He enters, and they tell him their problem. The turk guy says, "You know, if she gets stung by the bee it could be fatal, so this is very dangerous." "Why dont you let me try." The couple agrees. So the turk doctor puts some honey on his dick and puts it inside the woman. He starts pumping slowly, and then he increases his pace. Faster and faster, harder and harder until he's finally vigorously thrusting it in and out. "What the fuck are you doing," says the Rashty guy? "There's been a change of plans," says the turk doctor, "I'm gonna drown the bastard!"
There was a rashti guy who always had a que of men outside his house, waiting to see his wife when he was out. They asked him why he didn't just divorce her... he replied that if he was to do so he'd have to go back to the end of the que.
Once upon a time a Shirazi, a Ghazvini and a Rashti were chatting about women. Shirazi guy says: Woman is like a flower. You look at it, you smell it and you water it. Ghazvini guy says: Woman is like a record player. You play one side, then you turn it and play the other. Rashti guy says: Woman is like a newspaper. You read it, and then you pass it to your neighbour to read it.
So they ask the rashti woman, "Do you speak with your husband when you have sex?" She thinks for a moment, shrugs, and says "sure, if there's a phone nearby."
A Rashti comes home and says to his wife: "lets go to my sisters house" His wife says "I have nothing to wear" and he goess to the closet and says blue dress, purple dress, yellow dress, Hassan A'qa'. The same thing happens tomorrow and he goes to the closet he says blue dress yellow dress green dress and then he says have you taken Hassan A'qa' to dry cleaning
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Ali, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Ali walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Ali had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period" reported Ali. "Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period." "Damned if I know" said Ali, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
Rashti and his friend comes to Tehran, he tells his friend walk with me because i don't want to lose you, accidently he loses his friend, and he sees apolice officer as standing there he goes to him and says did you see a man without me?
Once a Rashti was talking Turki in front of his house ... One of his friends hears his talking and asks aau Why are talking Turki ? The Rashti answers : Someone is up in the house with my wife and "man Xodam ra' zadam be xareeat "
There was lightning in the sky and a rashti looks up in the sky and smiles, when ever lightning strikes he looks up and smiles. Another person is walking by and sees the guy, he says why are you smilling at the sky? The rashti says cant you see god is taking a picture
This turk fell out of his window and he got up and heard people wispering. A man asked the turk what happened, the turk siad "I don't know I just got here"
A rashti buys some cool magic-glasses for 10,000 tomans that allows you too see all women naked! He gets in the street, puts them on and actually sees all women naked ! He gets home with his glasses on; goes to the bedroom and sees his wife naked in bed with another man! He immediately takes the glasses off but still sees her naked. He goes "boro baabaa, in eynak ke ka'r nemikoneh!"
Why are Iranian people so smart? Cause they have no blonds.
One day a rashti goes to the "naja're mahaleh" and says:"a'qa' dastam be da'manet, make a closet for us that it doesn't have a Hasan agha in it."
A mullah was paying a visit to one of his Masjid members on a Friday night, and heard a loud party as he approached the house. He knocked on the door and the owner answered. Behind him, he saw a circle of naked men, with blind folded women moving from man to man, fondling each man's package, and guessing who it was. The Mullah, seeing this, said, "I'm sorry. I don't think I'd fit in here right now." "Nonsense," the man replied. "Your name's been called three times already!"
One evening a Rashtee comes home early from work and sees his wife in bed wearing a beautiful night gown. He immediately is outraged and yells "Where is "he", where is he hiding?" He looks under the bed, but doesn't find anyone. Then he quickly looks out the window and sees a guy walking away on the sidewalk. He angrily, picks up the huge dresser and throws it out the window on top of the guy. Then, he clutches his chest and dies of a heart-attack. At heaven's gate, God approaches three men who are standing side by side, and says, "What happened? how did you get here?" The first guy says, "I was just walking on the sidewalk, minding my own business, and now I'm here." The second guys says, "I caught my wife cheating on me, so I threw the dresser out the window at the guy outside, and then I had a heart-attack, and here I am." The third guys says, "I don't know what happened, I was just hiding in the dresser."
They ask this Rashty guy, How many kids do you have? Rashty says: 13 Wow, thats a lot for a rashty kind of guy. How do you remember their names? Rashy says: their names are no problem, I keep forgetting their last names.
What is the difference between a blonde and a porsche? You don't lend your porsche to your friends.
1- Rashti is somebody from Rasht, the capital city of Gilan, a beautiful provice in northern Iran. 2- Rashti men are claimed to be not very jealous. On the other hand, Rashti women are assumed to be very open. So, it is said that Rashti women have open sex and their husbands do not seriously stop them. 3- It is generally assumed that Rashti men's children are not necessarily his real offsprings.
A Person from Rasht went to the shop in his neighborhood and complained to the shop keeper ; "You see these Turks are really stupid . Why ? said the shopkeeper . My neighbor is a Turk , he has got his own wife but is going into my wife's bed .
Rashti to wife:"What did you do with the dust on this table? I had written a telephone number on it!!
one day a rashti goes to a carpenter , and says Mr Asghar , Please make a wardrobe for me that my nieghbour Ahmad doesnt be in it...
one night a rashti in bed with his wife , fels that somebody else is in their bed ...he stands up from the bed and turns a small light on and counts the number of the legs on the bed.... and says : let me see 1-2 -3-4 ...no I was wrong 2 foot belongs to me and 2 foot belongs to my wife
This Rashtee guy goes to the "Who wants to be a millionaire?" game show. The host asks the first question: "When you are having sex with your wife, how long does it take her to be sexually satisfied; 5, 15, 30, or 45 minutes?" He thinks for a while then tells the host: "I would like to ask the audience."
rashti woman of Iran was late home and husband was worried and waiting for her. when sher arrived, the husbad asked her why she was so late tonight woman replied the man who was following me tonight was walking very slowly
A drunk man was walking down the street on a sunday morning. Suddenly he realizes that he is missing his hat. Looking around he sees a church nearby and says"o.k. I will go to the church and take a hat from the entry". Upon entering he stops and listens to the father. At the end of the ceremony he goes to the father and says"Father, I was just about to commit a crime but you stopped me." Father says:"what did I say son?" Drunk man says:"You know you talked about ten-commandment and then you talked about adultry, that was when I remembered where I have left my hat!
one day one man and his family were going to thier city to rasht in the midle of the road a man from tehran stopped them and he drew a circle told to the man to go inside the circle and the man did ,tehrni took the man,s wife and did whatever he want to do, after he go through the woman said to his wife why you didnot do anything ,the man said when he was making love to you ,you know what i did , what i put my foot out of the circle three times .
one day a persone tells a rashti that somebody is having sex with your wife. so he runs to his house and into his room that her wife was having sex and the rashti came back out of the room and he stars laughing and he said"i never saw jaafar's aas before"
The Rashti guy comes home and says, "I have terrible news -- The company's transferring us to another city!" His wife says, "Oh, good! A new neighborhood!" The Rashti guy says, "Are you reluctant?" and his wife says, "We can compromise."
One day A rashti man is with his wife on a train on a trip. An Arab man was in their room and saw that the woman is very pretty so he started flertin. At night when they were going to sleep the rashti man slept on the lower bed and his wife slept on the top bunk while the Arab man slept on the bed across. At night when the Arab man thought the Rashti man was asleep he streightened his penis across and handed it to the woman, and the woman liked it so she got on it to be taken accross. As she was being taken Her husband woke up and said: Go if you must, but have you thought how you would return?
Once a American girl askes a rashti guy to come home to her, the rashti guy accepts it, so when they arrive home, the American girl goes naked on the bed and open her legs wide, she askes the rashti guy "Do u know what this means?". the Rashti guy says: "yes, it means that u need the whole bed to sleep on
One night, a Rashti man prepares to make love to his wife. He runs across the house and shuts all the lights, prepares candles and eagerly gets in bed where his comely wife has been waiting for him for some time. As he gets into bed, the door bell rings. "who could it be at this late hour" he thinks to himself. He goes and opens the door and sees it's friend Ghassem, pouting, sobbing and crying at his doorstep, explaining that his wife has just left him, having falsely accused him of cheating on her. The Rashti lets his friend in and consoles him, taking him to the "poshteboon" above his bedroom, where there's a window that connects the two rooms (thus one can see through). The situation has somehow killed the mood and the Rashti man decides to go to sleep instead. A few moments later, his friend Ghassem comes rushing in and whines about how he can make love to his wife when his best friend has just bene kicked to the cuirb and without his wife. The Rashti responds that he wasn't making love to his wife and was just trying to get some sleep. Ghassem says, "ok, sorry, it just looked like you were on top of your wife from the glass above your room". He goes back to bed. About fifteen minutes later, Ghassem comes rushing in again and complains once more about the same thing. Once again, he is reassured and sent back to bed. Whent eh same scenario repeats itself over, and over and over agian, the Rashti guy gets seriously irritated and decides to go have a look on the top floor and look through that strange glass which makes Ghassem believe each time that he is making love to his wife. When teh Rashti gets to Ghassem's room, he looks through the connecting glass and says to himself: -"funny, it does look like he is making love to my wife!"
Three guys who died get to St. Peter's Gate where they have to be interviewed and given transportation for getting around in Heaven. St. Peter asks the first guy whether he'd been a good man, and he replies, "I was married twenty-five years, and never cheated once!" St. Peter says, "Well, fine! I'll give you a Rolls Royce and unlimited gasoline for getting around anywhere in Heaven!" Upon questioning, the second guy says, "St. Peter, I have to tell you, I cheated on my wife two times, and I'm deeply ashamed!" St. Peter says, "Well, you are honest. I'll give you a Chevrolet for getting around in Heaven, and a full tank of gas at the beginning of each week." The third guy says, "After listening to these other two guys, I have to tell you I am just plain bad. Even though I was married to a beautiful wife, I chased any skirt that moved! I wasn't faithful for a second, and I'm a sorry guy!" St. Peter said, "You're honest and repentant, so I'll let you ride a bicycle around in Heaven." One day he's riding his bike along a dirt path and sees the first guy, the one with a Rolls Royce, sitting by an on-ramp to the freeway crying his heart out. The third guy pulls his bike over and says, "What happened to your car? They'll do anything for you, whatever you want, and with good reason: You're honest and totally faithful, unlike me!" "Yes," the guy cries out, "but I just saw my wife skating by on roller blades!"